still funny like hell........
cant wait to talk to you on ice this winter,.......
joco.
Some unfortunate news
-
wolfe
- Diamond Participant
- Posts: 7588
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2004 11:04 am
- Location: Marietta, NY & Wolfe Lake, Ont.
Kpin,
So happy you're home!
Hope you're feeling better every day and that your reports are all favorable.
Might as well take advantage of the good excuse to lie around and take it easy. Enjoy some good old Road Runner re-runs or something like that.
Thinkin' of ya. Get well!
W.
PS: sorry about the nurses not living up to your fantasies, er expectations...
PPS: don't think this is any kind of excuse to get you out of ice fishing this winter, mister.
So happy you're home!
Hope you're feeling better every day and that your reports are all favorable.
Might as well take advantage of the good excuse to lie around and take it easy. Enjoy some good old Road Runner re-runs or something like that.
Thinkin' of ya. Get well!
W.
PS: sorry about the nurses not living up to your fantasies, er expectations...
PPS: don't think this is any kind of excuse to get you out of ice fishing this winter, mister.
-
Kpin
- Gold Participant
- Posts: 1325
- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:08 pm
- Location: Da Great White North...Eh!
"Kpin Amazing Hospital Adventure"
After many pre visits for bloodwork etc. They slipped me through the cracks for immediate surgery. After eyeing my new roomies, I promptly hobbled over and drew the curtain completely closed. That was the end of our introduction, seeing as both just glared at me when I was wheeled in.
I wasn't to eat or drink as the following tests wouldn't allow but they kindly gave me a really neat sponge on a stick to keep my mouth wet
. The next day I missed breakfast and lunch awaiting transport for the tests even though the testing areas were awaiting me. I told them to provide me a map and I'd wheel myself there. No can do....so I wait a full 4 hrs. for 2 overpaid orderlies to wheel me there. On the way, in the main lobby we passed a group of about 10-12 of them just joyfully chatting away...musta been a union meeting . (The tests took all of 10 minutes).
Back to home sweet home, I popped in my earplugs and read some fishing mags my cousin had kindly brought me when he visited and waited for the morphine to settle in.
The next day my funky automated electric bed is broken and won't respond. I ring for my nurse and she gets me a replacement saying, "you shouldn't have done the horizontal mombo with the night nurse, she's a large woman yanno and for Gods' sake I hope you didn't let her get on top!" Hardy, har, har, morphine please. I'm content now with pain gone and a working bed. Lord knows it really did help....THE BED, you pervs.
Next day I wheel myself out for a smoke and I gotta tell you, not even all hospital areas are wheelchair friendly and I almost wiped out a few times. Finally find a spot out of the wind, wearing my hospital garb, bathrobe and my coat. Every single person passing is gawking at me. Now I realize I look rough but wtf...I'm talking every single person. Didn't occur to me, till I wheeled myself away I was directly in front of the morgue and coulda made a mint with a tv camera filming a non smoking commercial as an official poster boy.
Won't even get into any great detail about what they pass off as food there.
Day2, I'm getting bored and fashion my dinner utensils into tools to hotwire the tv by the bed....receive a nasty shock as a result and ring the nurse for another morphine shot.
Next morning a doctor comes in and speaks to me a bit and says we're operating the right side, right? Yep, I say, so he signs my right leg with a pen for good measure, (I really feel safer now). Next wheeled to surgery covered by something slightly larger than a face towel and placed beside a row of air vents .....yep you can guess it....blowing COLD air
.
Talk to my surgery staff as I move onto the operation table and notice a tag attached to it. Now that struck me as strange. I calmly ask if that's to be my toe tag should they f*ck up and can save some time b4 wheeling me to my fave smoking spot at the morgue. Well they thought that was just hillarious and all cracked up...and I mean really cracked up. Then got deadly silent and they all agreed, "ummmm, he's right, that looks really bad). Well....no kidding.
I awake in post-op with a really large nurse yelling at me to breathe! Scared the living crap right outta me and I thought I was a goner and on my way. So I breathe...."breathe faster!" she yells...so I breathe faster. (You have to rem. I've just woken from major surgery here and this is the first thing I'm greeted with). We've got a problem she says...and I think...this is it...I'm on my way Lord...(hope I'm on my way there, anyhow). She lumbers over and yells in my face, "you have to breathe!"
Ok, this is where I lose it....."Lady if I breathe and f*cking harder I'm going to pass out!" She examines the oxygen mask and smiles..."oh, you were right, the hose wasn't attached properly."
I glare at her and ask, "just how long have you been a nurse?"
"25 years", she responds.
Well, I say in response, after all this time one would assume that, a: you don't yell and freak out a patient waking from major surgery.
b: CHECK THE DAMN HOSE BEFORE PROCEEDING TO DO THE (^&*^$^&*(^* YELLING YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE!
With that I kindly thanked her for her high level of proffesionalism and that I was glad that I taught a valuble service to a career nurse of 25 yrs.
There are other really engaging stories but those are a few that make up my amazing hospital visit. Can't wait to go back!
Thanks for reading and helping me vent!
After many pre visits for bloodwork etc. They slipped me through the cracks for immediate surgery. After eyeing my new roomies, I promptly hobbled over and drew the curtain completely closed. That was the end of our introduction, seeing as both just glared at me when I was wheeled in.
I wasn't to eat or drink as the following tests wouldn't allow but they kindly gave me a really neat sponge on a stick to keep my mouth wet
. The next day I missed breakfast and lunch awaiting transport for the tests even though the testing areas were awaiting me. I told them to provide me a map and I'd wheel myself there. No can do....so I wait a full 4 hrs. for 2 overpaid orderlies to wheel me there. On the way, in the main lobby we passed a group of about 10-12 of them just joyfully chatting away...musta been a union meeting . (The tests took all of 10 minutes).Back to home sweet home, I popped in my earplugs and read some fishing mags my cousin had kindly brought me when he visited and waited for the morphine to settle in.
The next day my funky automated electric bed is broken and won't respond. I ring for my nurse and she gets me a replacement saying, "you shouldn't have done the horizontal mombo with the night nurse, she's a large woman yanno and for Gods' sake I hope you didn't let her get on top!" Hardy, har, har, morphine please. I'm content now with pain gone and a working bed. Lord knows it really did help....THE BED, you pervs.
Next day I wheel myself out for a smoke and I gotta tell you, not even all hospital areas are wheelchair friendly and I almost wiped out a few times. Finally find a spot out of the wind, wearing my hospital garb, bathrobe and my coat. Every single person passing is gawking at me. Now I realize I look rough but wtf...I'm talking every single person. Didn't occur to me, till I wheeled myself away I was directly in front of the morgue and coulda made a mint with a tv camera filming a non smoking commercial as an official poster boy.
Won't even get into any great detail about what they pass off as food there.
Day2, I'm getting bored and fashion my dinner utensils into tools to hotwire the tv by the bed....receive a nasty shock as a result and ring the nurse for another morphine shot.
Next morning a doctor comes in and speaks to me a bit and says we're operating the right side, right? Yep, I say, so he signs my right leg with a pen for good measure, (I really feel safer now). Next wheeled to surgery covered by something slightly larger than a face towel and placed beside a row of air vents .....yep you can guess it....blowing COLD air
.Talk to my surgery staff as I move onto the operation table and notice a tag attached to it. Now that struck me as strange. I calmly ask if that's to be my toe tag should they f*ck up and can save some time b4 wheeling me to my fave smoking spot at the morgue. Well they thought that was just hillarious and all cracked up...and I mean really cracked up. Then got deadly silent and they all agreed, "ummmm, he's right, that looks really bad). Well....no kidding.
I awake in post-op with a really large nurse yelling at me to breathe! Scared the living crap right outta me and I thought I was a goner and on my way. So I breathe...."breathe faster!" she yells...so I breathe faster. (You have to rem. I've just woken from major surgery here and this is the first thing I'm greeted with). We've got a problem she says...and I think...this is it...I'm on my way Lord...(hope I'm on my way there, anyhow). She lumbers over and yells in my face, "you have to breathe!"
Ok, this is where I lose it....."Lady if I breathe and f*cking harder I'm going to pass out!" She examines the oxygen mask and smiles..."oh, you were right, the hose wasn't attached properly."
I glare at her and ask, "just how long have you been a nurse?"
"25 years", she responds.
Well, I say in response, after all this time one would assume that, a: you don't yell and freak out a patient waking from major surgery.
b: CHECK THE DAMN HOSE BEFORE PROCEEDING TO DO THE (^&*^$^&*(^* YELLING YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE!
With that I kindly thanked her for her high level of proffesionalism and that I was glad that I taught a valuble service to a career nurse of 25 yrs.
There are other really engaging stories but those are a few that make up my amazing hospital visit. Can't wait to go back!
Thanks for reading and helping me vent!
-
almontefisher
- Diamond Participant
- Posts: 2971
- Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2006 3:08 pm
- Location: Carleton Place
-
Badger Shark
- Gold Participant
- Posts: 1639
- Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:19 pm
- Location: in sane
So, my ex was one of those nurses, Cold air huh, wow shrinkage thats the way you want to go into an operation. Are you sure that you made them crack up with your comment or was it the effect of the cold air.
Sorry Paolo I cant help myself whenit comes to you.
Give me a call when you feel well enough.
Take care \
DON
Cold air huh, wow shrinkage thats the way you want to go into an operation. Are you sure that you made them crack up with your comment or was it the effect of the cold air. Sorry Paolo I cant help myself whenit comes to you.
Give me a call when you feel well enough.
Take care \
DON
-
Big Jim
- Silver Participant
- Posts: 610
- Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2005 5:19 pm
- Location: SEELEY'S BAY, ONTARIO
- Contact:
told you you would be back...
K-pin, great to see you back so soon man, and I will now say something I never say...."told you so"... where's those fish to be caught...they are in trouble now..."He's Baaaack"
Reading your report made my day.....
All the best
BIG JIM
Reading your report made my day.....
All the best
BIG JIM
-
Kpin
- Gold Participant
- Posts: 1325
- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:08 pm
- Location: Da Great White North...Eh!
Actually I just really enjoy bitching. The staff on the whole were very competent and I felt secure with the proffesionals that helped in my care. My surgeon has already personally returned 2 calls in 2 days to me for some concerns I've had even though he's working 12-16 hr. surgery shifts.
Now the hospital I had my last surgery at for a deviated septum really scared the hell outta me. Then again, any operation that involves such complicated modern tech. as a hammer/chisel combo, isn't going to have a great conclution either way.
Oh yes....more medical updates....I removed the clear bandage from my wound today. HOLY FREAKING MOSES!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't seen that many stars since my first stab at hallucinagens! Thank God for pain killers, they and the tv are my new best friends!
Btw, as a sidenote...I've gotta say, it's really nice to see a post get such a great response without actually involving any conflict! Ain't it grand?!
Now the hospital I had my last surgery at for a deviated septum really scared the hell outta me. Then again, any operation that involves such complicated modern tech. as a hammer/chisel combo, isn't going to have a great conclution either way.
Oh yes....more medical updates....I removed the clear bandage from my wound today. HOLY FREAKING MOSES!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't seen that many stars since my first stab at hallucinagens! Thank God for pain killers, they and the tv are my new best friends!
Btw, as a sidenote...I've gotta say, it's really nice to see a post get such a great response without actually involving any conflict! Ain't it grand?!
-
HitmanHill
- Bronze Participant
- Posts: 369
- Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 1:52 pm
- Location: Kanata