CONTEST: Holiday Story Time

[Bobber]

<img align="left" src="http://www.fish-hawk.net/photogallery/a ... logo~0.jpg"> <font size="3">Win a trip to fish beautiful Loughborough Lake!</font>

<i>Brought to you by the newly owned and operated Holiday Manor Lodge, in cooperation with Fish-Hawk.Net.</i>

Have you ever wanted to take a trip to a body of water that holds big fish, has beautiful scenery, and be pampered during your stay?

Well here's your chance!

See contest details below.

[Bobber]

<img align="left" src="http://www.holidaymanor.net/_mgxroot/im ... 774271.png"> <b>The Holiday Manor on Loughborough Lake is please to announce a contest geared towards what anglers do best……tell stories. </b>

Do you have an interesting fishing story to share? Well from now until April 10, 2007, any story submitted either by E-mail or board posting, will become eligible for a 2 day, 1 night stay at the Holiday Manor Lodge on beautiful Loughborough Lake, <u><b><i>for you and a guest of your choice</i></b></u>.

This is a prize valued at approximately <b>$250.00</b>, which <u>includes meals and tax</u>.

Story submissions will be accepted either by posting your story within the Hawk Talk Angling Forums here on Fish-Hawk.Net, and <a href="mailto:manor@kingston.net">sending us an e-mail</a> to indicate that you've made a submission, or you can <a href="mailto:manor@kingston.net">e-mail the entire story</a> directly to us in Word format, text, or whatever.


Your stories will be judged by the staff of the Holiday Manor Lodge, primarily on its entertainment value, with extra points given for stories that contain....
- Humour
- Children
- Great Photos
- A surprise factor

Second place and honourable mention will receive a free HMR T-shirt, which we will mail to you.

Winner will be announced shortly after April 10th, 2007, so don't delay. Get writing, submit your stories, and become eligible to win.

For more information on the Holiday Manor Lodge, or further details on the contest, please visit either...
The <a href="http://www.fish-hawk.net/hawktalk/viewt ... >Fish-Hawk Adventure Center</a>
<b>-- or --</b>
The <a href="http://www.holidaymanor.net/">Holiday Manor Website </a>

If you need to reach the organizers of this contest opportunity, please e-mail or send a Private Message to "Clausewitz". He's a member of our board.

<b>Here's a taste of what you'll experience.....</b>
<center>
<img src="http://www.holidaymanor.net/_mgxroot/im ... 62_181.jpg"> <img src="http://www.holidaymanor.net/_mgxroot/im ... 06_237.jpg"> <img src="http://www.holidaymanor.net/_mgxroot/im ... "></center>

[Wallyboss]

Holy Crap!!! Might as well just give it to MooseBunk How are we supposed to beat his stories!!!!! Especially if he draws the pictures himself!!!

Hope you have a good time there Moose.

[almontefisher]

Where do we post our story??? Right here or email them directly??

[Viper]

Moosbunk has my vote

[Clausewitz]

Where do we post our story??? Right here or email them directly??

Hi Almonte,

You can enter either way. Or do both so you can be sure that I catch your entry.

Looking forward to reading your stories.

[Kpin]

I'll post my own soon. Did I somehow miss Bunks? I can't seem to find it?!

In regard to J's story.... Having had the pleasure to fish with J many times, I can actually hear him calling out "musky...big musky" and see the body trembles of excitement. I tell ya, it was like a video reel playing in my mind reading that story.

My fav. part, however was.....“You say the F word a lot”

Now that's just classic!

[Bobber]

Hey folks,

Feel free to start a new topic thread in the main Fishing Talk forum and select the Story icon for your post. Give it a good title, and just send an e-mail to the Holiday Manor so that they can read it and enter it into their draw. You don't necessarily have to put it in here as a reply.

[Mr.J.]

Works for me as long as they (Holiday Manor) know it is somewhere else.

I fored them of an email and told them it was posted in this thread. I'm sure they are smart enough to figure out where it ended up.

[Clausewitz]

Works for me as long as they (Holiday Manor) know it is somewhere else.

I fored them of an email and told them it was posted in this thread. I'm sure they are smart enough to figure out where it ended up.

Hi Mr. J.

Yep we got your email. And I am sorely tempted to make fun of my own searching skills on this one. ....

I enjoyed your story thank you for posting it, the response has been great so far, lots of great entries.

[muskymatt]

One summer during our annual 2 week camping trip my daughter (6 at the time) was tugging at my shirt pleading with me to take her out fishing in the boat. "c'mon dad .....c'mon I want to fish" she repeated about 100 times until I said "OK...lets go.
Out on the water i was setting up to troll and then it started"DAD.....um......I don't want to troll , I want to fish with worms!!"

I replied "in a while honey" .
So it started again" Dad I want to fish with worms." and this was repeated 100 times until I complied.
Ipulled in the lines and headed for a little spot I knew was loaded with panfish.

I dropped anchor and as I turned around my daughter(Robin) was already sitting there pole in hand waiting for a worm to be slipped onto the hook.
" Let the line oout till it hits bottom and then reel in 6 times honey" I said .
As I was reaching for my rod Robin yells out "Daddy , I got one!!!!"
I grab the net and scoop up a sunfish, meanwhile Robin is so excited she yells out " Hurry dad put another worm on....hurry"
As she is letting her line out again , I turn to grab my rod and " Daddy I got another one"
This was repeated about 35 times and I never did get my line out.
When Robin had had enough she said "Ok dad lets go back and show mom the pictures and tell her about all the fish.

As I pulled up to the dock Robin and I were greeted by my other daughter and my wife.
" How did you make out??" my wife asks

And Robins answer was " I'm awesome mom , I caught 35 fish, but Dad sucks though, he didn't catch a thing."

[Clausewitz]

That is hilarious, thank you for the story.

I LOL'd out loud.

[Kpin]

Looks like submissions can be posted here....so. Read on for one helluva actual true story, with extreme verbosity but an overwhelmingly satisfying laugh at the author. (It has been brought to my attention by a friend and non angler that this story has absolutely NOTHING to do with fishing. I must agree shrugging my shoulders but knowing surely even the fish beneath the water laughed at my idiocy. So to my non angling, beautiful friend, I say this... and maintain, due purely to location, it indeed is!
I still can't beleive this actually happened and I've never told a single soul...until now.

*NARRATOR* (with one of those really cool deep voices)
In a world that sometimes doesn't make sense. Where reality is twisted beyond logic and comprehension. Where Paris Hilton can actually be a celebrity yet moronic and useless simultaneously. There is an alternate reality. Welcome to...THE TWILIGHT ZONE... or SO YOU THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT KICKING YOUR DOG....(The producer hasn't decided yet on the title).

*ACTUAL VICTIM, ACTUALLY WILLING TO TELL HIS STORY*
I will sadly, grudingly tell this true story in the hopes it will save someone in the future. Give a good laugh. Or actually win me something for such a bizzaro story. Inspired by Jackels, "That means STAY OFF" thread. There are no known photographs of this and I THANK GOD Again, this IS a true story, (you can't make up cr@p like this).

The Spring meltdown is in full swing, the waters churn and tempestuously flow where it is normaly calm as I walk my dog, faithfull companion, mans best friend, by the riverbank. He goes to the waters edge, for a drink of water. CREAK...CRACK...A 5 foot chunk of ice cracks and starts floating away in the torrent of rapidly flowing water, carrying the dog along with it. Dog starts to freak and in obvious distress, "barks" at master to help.

(This is where man becomes stupider than animal).

Owner and superior lifeform, man, takes a slow-mo, hollywood movie scene, jump accross the raging water onto the iceflow.

*ORCHESTRA*
Cool, heavy duty music for effect and dramatic effect playing.

Landing with impressive grace considering the distance of the ice, speed of the water and of course the idiot dog that almost knocks man off the iceflow, jumping on him with obvious releif.

The man is (obnoxiously), impressed with his athletic ability, courage, reckless abandon and overall heroism. He stands, dusts the snow off himself and smiles at his faithfull, yet stupid companion, mans best friend.

Then, as realization slowly slips in, is not so impressed with his own OBVIOUS stupidity.

He watches as the bank disapears quickly in the distance while the raging spring water rapids carry the small island of ice away at an alarming rate.

In mere seconds he is easily 30 feet from shore. His faithfull compainion looks up at him with trust, whimpering, knowing, surely his master is in complete control and all is safe. The man looks down at his dog and utters with disgust, "you retarded mutt."

Man, with absolutely no recourse and the riverbank, still rapidly fading further away, sits down on the large piece of ice and contemplates his fate.

He also meanwhile, considers evil ways to punish the idiot dog, should all turn out well, while attempting his VERY best to ignore people on their waterfront property, calling for others. Most common one liner heard was;

*USELESS EXTRA, HEARD AND NOT SEEN TO AVOID PRODUCTION COST*
"Honey, get over here and grab the kids, you're NOT gonna beleive this one! Yeah, you heard me! Yes, I'm serious, there's a freaking guy with his dog surfing the river on a chunk of ice! No, I told you before, I stopped smoking that stuff!"

SO, there sits man. Conquerer of land, sea and space in all his might and glory. Powerlessly raging down river with his IDIOTIC, yet faithfull companion. Man attempts to use the superior mind God gave him that allowed him to walk upright, harness fire, the wheel, create society and survive the primordial ooze of prehistoric times.

Man has an incredibly amazing thunderbolt of an idea hit him
Then frowns as he realizes pushing the dog off the ice and holding on to it's tail for animal powered motor will miserably fail due to amazingly strong current. He suddenly feels as smart as his ancestral neandrethal family of old, feebily attempting to ward off a T-Rex with a small pointy stick.

Man is
Man is
Man is also this close to strangling his faithfull companion.
Let's just say it like it is...MAN IS REALLY, REALLY F@CKING pee pee

Then the clouds break open, the sun shines down. In an amazing turn of events the current, diverted by a fallen log, is changes flow and the chunk of ice slices toward the riverbank The riverbank is approaching a distance that the man is thinking he can attempt another amazingly impressive jump to safety.

(He looks down at his faithfull compainion, scowls and decides he really doesn't give a flying f@ck about the retarded dog anymore).

Man stands...licks his lips. Visually gauges the distance of the upcoming jump, is once again brave, valliant and superhuman and smiles, mockingly in the face of danger.

With a deep breath man starts the 2 stride run for momentum he has to work with, preparing to dive and leap to safety. At that pivitol moment, his faithfull companion, OBVIOUSLY, NOT giving an ounce of concern for faithfull master, seizes the opportunity, making a dashing leap to safety, tripping the man and making him land on his face eating ice and snow as it cuts his face and almost capsizing the small island of ice.

(Triumphant music plays as)... Mans faithfull companion successfully reaches safety!

Man is thinking Faithfull companion, mans best friend, will undoubtedly go for help in Lassie like fashion. His canine compainion is overjoyed and happily runs along the riverbank, barking at his master feverishly, following him for over a good km, confused as to why the man has not saved himself. Man, repeatedly curses at dog to get help, even throwing the occasional snowball at the mongrel, who stupidly stops to eat them, as his kind master get's again dragged out to the middle of the river and the man thinks to self, "I hate that (^*%**&&)(%^&%!! dog

Dog disapears at some point, growing weary of the game of Chase The Master. The man in another twist of fate is diverted towards the bank again and manages to leap up to an overhanging tree branch, scrambling to safety as it creaks and cracks, complaining under his weight. Man, quickly traverses branch, hand over hand, feeling the branch fail and knows it will soon break and flings himself off of it a fraction of a second b4 it breaks and falls into the water.

(Indiana Jones, hero music plays),
Man, drops from branch as it cracks, falls and begins it's own trip down the raging river. The man hits the ground hard on his chest and face, coming to a sliding halt with yet more cuts and spits out the snow in his face. A curious chipmunk looks at him and the man says some VERY, VERY nasty words to the innocent chipmunk, who decides it's safer to run like hell from the man

Man smiles to self, having beaten the elements, fought the river and Mother Nature, defied fate itself, saved mans best friend heroically, (& in mans opinion, feats of athleticism of Olympian calabre and remains unscathed!
(De-climatic, all is well, music begins to play)...


What do YOU think happened next?
Faithfull companion, mans best friend, comes to his side, lovingly thanking him for his dangerous and selfless act?

Faithfull companion, mans best friend, has decided squirell chasing was more fun than watching master possibly drift all the way to the Parliament buildings, to suffer more mockery and possible tourist photographs?

Faithfull companion, mans best friend, has returned the favour and brought help?

NO!

Master of land, sea, air and yes, even space, lays panting like a maniac, panicked, cut and bleeding, frantically eating snow to parch his throat dried from the extreme adventure and glances off to the other side of the river, where the spectators children are STILL laughing, (yet still disappointed they couldn't throw their snowballs far enough to hit him and knock him in the water)....

Faithfull companion, mans best friend...has long since returned home and waits by his foodbowl, confused as to where his master is and why he isn't fed yet.

STUPID ^#$^**(%&*&*(! Dog

Again, true story. I now understand why MrJ. and I found a dog, bloated and floating in the Rideau this past summer. I wonder when my Faithfull companion, mans best friend, friggin' retard mutt of a dog had puppies?

Now if you've read ALL of this, either you enjoyed it or are married and used to long winded "let's talk about our feelings" sessions!

[swampbuster]

The following story is true, the names have not been changed as there are no innocents.

It was a mild September afternoon, myself and three collegues are at a business meeting/fishing trip at a cottage. The meeting part is over and being the only hardcore fisherman in the group I am down on the dock by myself throwing a five of diamonds in the hope of catching one of the huge pike that apparently inhabit this area. It is not long before there is a large powerful swirl and my little C3 is screaming as my 20 lb powerpro line is quickly disappearing out into the depths of the lake. After awhile I gain some ground and get a look at the huge pike that took my five of diamonds. I then realize I have no net and need some help.


Tony and Rick are 100 ft up the rocky bank in the cottage celebrating an early end to our business meeting." TONY "I scream! "WHAT "! "I HAVE A HUGE PIKE ON, BRING ME A NET RIGHT AWAY"! There is a short pause then an explosion of laughter mixed with horrible insults about my fishing skills." NO REALLY "I exclaim! Then just at that moment my line goes limp and I reel in my leader with the snap straightened out. I am standing there thinking about what might have been when a landing net slams onto the dock beside me causing me to jump out of my skin. I KNEW YOU WERE BULL ------- ! Tony turns in disgust and begins the long climb back to the cottage."NO REALLY" I exclaim!


So like a good fisherman I take my licks, re-tie with a daredevel and start fishing again. It is not long before I start hearing a strange SLOP SLOP SLOP noise getting louder and louder. Around the corner comes Mike the fourth member of our gang in a paddleboat. Mike breaks out his spin-cast reel and telescoping rod, casts out a little mepps spinner tied to five year old four pound test mono and starts reeling in. SKWEAK-A-CHUNK SKWEAK-A-CHUNK SKWEAK-A-CHUNK. Don't lie, you all know and have heard the maddening sound Mike's reel is emitting.


Suddenly Mike's line starts screaming and the little spincast is making sounds like a blender set on pulse speed. It is a huge pike and comes in suspiciously easy. I grab the net Tony brought down and scoop the pike up victoriously only to see it slide through the rotten netting and back into the lake. I am left standing there holding the net THROUGH which Mike is still fighting the pike, and a shiny yellow lure is dangling from the net. "MY FIVE OF DIAMONDS", I exclaim, "WHAT" Mike retorts. "THAT'S MY PIKE " I exclaim. GET OUT OF MY WAY" he screams unaware I am now part of his fishing rod. Mike jerked the rod left, I move with him, he jerks his rod right, I follow. Its like some bizzare waltz of the retarded fishermen. "QUIT SCREWING AROUND RUSS, I AM GOING TO LOOSE THIS FISH"! "NO REALLY"! I exclaim.


So you can probably guess what happens next. "TONY", "WHAT". "I NEED ANOTHER NET". A long period of silence followed by more insults this time targeting my ancestry. "NO REALLY", was all I could think of to say. Mike got in on the cries for help and his pleas were apparently more credible than mine and we soon had the pike landed. No one except me was willing to hold the pike so as soon as the picture was taken I automatically leaned over the dock and released the pike.

As I watched it swim away a voice boomed in my ear "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" ! I released it I said with a cheesy grin. All three spun on there heels with disgust and began the long climb back to the cottage. "NO REALLY"! I exclaimed.

Russ

[Clausewitz]

Hello,

We are working through the entries right now and trying to decide a winner.

We are going to be making the announcement both here on Fish-Hawk and through our mailing list. If you are interested in joining our mailing list and hearing directly about the results and other offers we are going to have over the summer, go here:

http://vanluveninn.ca/phplist/?p=subscribe&id=1

Thanks in advance to all the entries we have received some great stories.

James.